Humor for the day. Don't know who originally wrote it.
It was sent to me from someone in our X-ray department.
They got it from a radsci site.
 
 ***********************************************************
 HOW TO MAINTAIN A HEALTH LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE
 ***********************************************************
 
 1.  Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
 
 2.  Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same
         outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does.
         This is especially effective if your boss is of a
         different gender than you.
 
 3.  Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to
         them only by these names.
         "That's a good point, Sparky."
         "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree
         with you there, Cha-cha."
 
 4.  Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them
         exactly what you're doing. For example: "If
         anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
 
 5.  Hi-Lite your shoes. Tells people you haven't lost
         them as much since you did this.
 
 6.  While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in
         Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.
 
 7.  Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you
         emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever,
         slap yourself randomly the whole way.
 
 8.  Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and
         tell people you're waiting for your document.
 
 9.  Every time someone asks you to do something, anything,
         ask him or her if they want fries with that.
 
 10. Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself
         in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a
         co-worker, and ask them to settle the dispute.
 
 11. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little
         synchronized chair-dancing.
 
 12. Put you trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."
 
 13. Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
 
 14. Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or
         donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people
         drift back to work complaining that they found
         none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh,
         you've got to be faster than that."
 
 15. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once
         everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction,
         switch to espresso.
 
 16. Insist that your e-mail address be:
         zena-goddess-of-FIRE@companyname.com
 
 17. Suggest that the Coke machine be filled with beer.
 
 18. When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping
         your car's windshield wipers running during all
         weather conditions to keep 'em tuned up.
 
 19. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what
         you think."
 
 20. Practice making fax and modem noises.
 
 21. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with
         the prophecy."
 
 22. Adjust the tint on you monitor so that the brightness
         level lights up the entire working area. Insist
         to others that you like it that way.
 
 23. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
 
 24. Ask people what sex they are.
 
 25. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head
         like a parakeet.
 
 26. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a
         hair dryer at passing cars to see if they
         slow down.
 
 27. Specify that your drive thru order is "to go."
 

 *****************************
 Peggy A. Wenk, HTL(ASCP)
 William Beaumont Hospital
 Schools of Histotechnology
 Royal Oak, MI 48073-6769
 
 Phone     248/551-9079
 Fax       248/551-9054
 Email     pwenk@beaumont.edu