"Administratium" a new humorous "element"...........

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From:Victoria Baker <vbaker60@yahoo.com>
To:HistoNet Server <HistoNet@Pathology.swmed.edu>
Content-Type:text/plain; charset=us-ascii

A piece of humor, I hope everyone enjoys it.  

Investigators at a major research institution have
discovered the heaviest element known to science. 
This startling new discovery has been tentatively
named Administratium [Ad].  This new element has no
protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number or
0.  It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant
neutrons, 75 vice neutron, and 111 assistant vice
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.  These 312
particles are held together by a force called morons,
which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like
particle called peons.
Since it has no electron, Administratium is inert.
Administratium can be easily detected as it impedes
every reaction with which it comes into contact. 
According to the discoverers, a minute amount of
Administratium causes one reaction to take over four
days to complete when it would normally take less than
a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately
three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a
reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons
exchange places.  In fact, an Admisnistratium sample's
mass will actually increase over time since with each
reorganization some of the morons become neutrons,
forming new isotopes.  This characteristic of moron
promotion leads some scientists to speculate that
Administratium is spontaneously formed whenever morons
reach a certain quantity in concentration.  This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical
Morass".  You will know it when you see it.

This is for anyone and everyone who has had to deal
with "Administratium" with VERY frustrating results. 
I don't mean to offend. :) 

Vikki Baker
American Health Foundation
Valhalla, New York
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